An American Homestead

Friday night Chris and I decided to go to an auction. This is just a little rinky dink auction in a local country town. My cousin works there and we decided to make a trip down there. It was so fun, we decided to go back again on Saturday night. We got some good deals, like an old cargo chest and tarps and such. Saturday was a very beautiful day. We decided to start clearing some of the overgrowth from around the barn. In the process we changed our minds on where we are putting the pig pen. It was going in the field across from the barn, but Chris suggested utilizing the back of the barn.

Now mind you, this barn is about as decrepit as I am, lol, but we use it. Actually the frame and all is in extremely good shape, although you may not be able to tell that from the pics I posted. But it really is and for the most part is sturdy and sound. Now I acknowledge that there needs to be some boards replaced VERY soon and we have plans to jack the corners and such up and re-situate the huge rocks that the thing is built on. But we use it. It made a find chicken coop in the very back and will make a very nice pig pen when we are done with it. We have tons of wood from the old house so that will not be an issue. The main thing that needed to be done was clearing all of the horrible overgrowth, honeysuckle and poison ivy from around the barn, and tons of briars as well. So Chris started on this on Friday. We got Devin on Saturday and he played in the barn while we cleared around it. He helped some as well and we have so far ended up with 2 huge piles of brush to burn….when it dries out some. You could not even walk around the side and back of the barn when we started, but within a few hours we had a lot of it cut down and piled up. The stall we plan to use for the pigs has some boards that are rotted out at the bottom. We are going to cut that out and make it so they can go in and out there into the pen area which will be a sturdy fence with barbed wire and nice size cedar trees deep in the ground for posts. I think it will turn out OK and I suppose we will find out when we get the piglets in there next month. I can fully attest to one and all that clearing land by hand is not an easy task. Yeah a bush hog would make things a bit easier for us, but when you don’t have you do with what you got….and right now pretty much all we got is our hands and some loppers and a chainsaw.

My hand is still a bother and the pain comes and goes, well it comes when I over use it and goes when I rest it for a few days. I am not going to waste money for a Doc to tell me to rest my hand, so I will keep the liniment on it and do what I can to let it heal. It sure does hinder things when you cannot have full use of one of your hands.

The weather is to turn colder this week and we will go back to having a fire every day.  I hope some of the days are rain free and somewhat warm so we can get out and work on the barn more and get that pen done. I keep thinking about the garden and cannot wait to get the first seeds in the ground. Things will feel a bit more complete at home when we have vegetables growing, get the muscadines planted and some blueberries and such. I am looking forward to this year and we are so very happy with our home….even the old decrepit barn!

Chris clearing the thick overgrowth around the barn

Chris and Devin up in the loft above the chicken coop

Devin heading back to the house after a hard day of work (playing in the barn)

Lotsa Brush ready to be burned in a few weeks

Lots more to go!

Yes....we have our work cut out for us

EmmaMae Tucker Muffins

EmmaMae Tucker Muffins

Devin coming down from his hiding place in the loft

I have been tutoring Lakota every evening for some time now. Good news is, she has started doing very well in school, bad news is it sure does eat up your evening when you spend 4 hours after work tutoring an 11 year old. I will continue as long as needed, but hope she get to a point of not needing it every day….soon! I have been getting home later than I would like and it leaves me with very little time to get anything done at the house, much less enjoy being at my house. Hopefully that will improve soon though.

Work is certainly picking up around the farm for Chris. Soon days will turn into 16 hours and the farm will be in fast speed until the garden is done and the pig we get turns to sausage! With the situation in the move, we just had to haul stuff to the farm and unload it wherever there was a spot to put things. There was no time for organizing anything or storing things where they should go. Chris is trying to make up for that now. He has been busy getting things where they need to go. Besides that task, he is hauling water to the chicken coop every day when it is freezing so they will have fresh water. He is building things and cleaning things and moving things. When the rain is over the area will be cleared for the pig pen and then the pigs will be purchased. After that we plan to start on the summer kitchen. We have started hauling in rocks for the Spring House as well. I will plant some grass seed on top of the root cellar. I have started getting the garden seeds and we will be getting those started soon so we can get the garden out after the last hard frost. Ah Spring…..I wonder who all is looking forward to it besides me? I know it will make Chris a very busy man, with all the above, plus clearing land on the back of the farm for pastures, mowing, and everything else he has to do. In ways I envy him, but in more ways I look up to him and am proud of him. He is a good man, a perfect male role model for the grandkids, my daughters look to him for things they look to their own Father for, fixing sinks and lights and toilets and building fences and such. Perrin dresses like Chris and looks up to him more than anyone could imagine. He loves his Papaw. I am a lucky woman, honestly a very lucky person to have such love in my life and have so little stress at home because Chris has taken care of every issue that arises. When I do get to go home, everything is done, I cook and he cleans, it all works out and I don’t have to worry and stress, I am free to just enjoy being home with a beautiful man that has a heart of gold and the sweetest personality any woman could ever hope to be around.

With that being said, everything else is good at this time. Tucker is growing like a weed. I am just shocked at how fast this dog is growing and her feet and ears seem to be growing faster than anything else. She is adorable though and pretty much potty trained. She still wants to eat everything in sight and we have to make sure that it is not Kleenex, sheets, plastic bottle caps and dead rats. She is a chore…but a chore we are enjoying. I just have to get used to turning over at night and realizing that the face in front of me in bed is not the man I love, it is a snoring Tucker Monster and trust me, I have kissed her face by accident several times, thinking it was Chris.

Two more things before I sign off today

1)    Jobs around here are non existent and if you are lucky to get one, you can just as well bet it is not one you will enjoy

2)    When the world crumbles and nothing is as it once was, when there are no jobs, no money for gas, food, medical bills. It is not the rich that people turn to when in need, it is the farmers, the plain folks. Because they work their asses off every day and they know how to get by with nothing. They will make it through and they will make sure their families and friends make it through. Not enough thanks is given to those plain folks, to those farmers. A family should be very proud if they are lucky enough to have one close by!

We have been very busy on the farm. Mostly trying to go through all of the boxes since the move. We were in such a hurry to get moved that the bedroom ended up being a storage room. Chris has been going through all of that and organizing things a bit better. I somehow sprained my wrist. I have absolutely no clue how I managed that, but my left hand has been useless for over a week now. This is for sure not a good thing as it has forced me to get behind on many things needing done and I cannot knit, sew, crochet or anything with it like it is. I am about to go nuts like this, but it is feeling some better today.

We lost one of our rain barrels when we had the deep freeze the past few weeks. That was to be expected as cold as it was, I am surprised we did not lose a lot more than that. We have started making plans for a sun room/summer kitchen as soon as the weather gets good enough to start such a project. It has been warming up slowly but I know we have some cold weather still to deal with A LOT before Spring arrives.

Tucker Muffins is doing well and growing like you would not believe. I will try to get recent pictures up soon. She has been able to make it through the night now without having to go out to pee and has not had an accident in the house in a very long time. She scratches on the door when she needs to go out and whines. She is pretty smart for such a baby. Amanda babysat her on Saturday and then on Monday she spent time alone at home. Well as alone as you can be with your big sister SadieMae watching your every move.

Once in a blue moon I have no choice but to shop for clothes. I hate this task probably more than any other thing we are forced to do in life. Shopping is not on my list of things humans should have to do. I would be perfectly happy running around in an old home made house dress, long johns, hiking boots, gloves and a scarf and home made toboggan. Unfortunately, I have to work and deal with people, so that requires decent clothes. Fortunately, I have a wonderful man in my life that somehow got an overdose of the shopping gene in his body. He goes through the store, picks out a bunch of clothes I should try on, waits at the dressing room and evaluates every outfit. If it gets a yes, we buy it, a no and he puts it back on the rack. I don’t even look in the mirror half the time. I just put the clothes on and step outside the door for him to give me the yay or nay, I suffered through this in Crossville this weekend but must say he is a wonderful shopper. He made me stop by a store called The Shakedown, which is a hippie store. I wanted a Bob Marley sweatshirt/hoody real bad but refrained from wasting money on that. BUT….Chris talked me into a pair of nomad sandals and that I was thrilled about. They will go perfect with my Urban Nomad hippie skirts. I ended up having to finish up shopping yesterday and he picked out every single one of my outfits, skirts, sweaters, shirts, boots/shoes and everything. I have no clue if they look good on me because I just put them on and wear them. BUT….I did pick out a few things for myself at GOODWILL without him noticing. I lucked up on some blue jean dresses/jumpers that I love for just a buck apiece and even two oversized sweaters to wear while I am waiting for the heater to get warm when we get home from work at night. Yeah so they make me look like plain jane country girl, but I don’t care, 4 dresses for 4 bucks, 2 sweaters for a dollar? How can I complain? Of course I had to force Chris to get some clothes as well, since his jeans are worn out beyond mending. We found a nice pair of steel toe work boots for him for just 20 bucks as well. So all in all it was not a horrible experience. I am certainly glad I do not have to go through It again for about 5 more years!

His Mam-maw is home from the hospital and is doing pretty good. I am going to try to mail Chris back down there before garden time so he can see her. Once we get the pigs and then the garden started and such, neither of us will be going anywhere to do anything until we are married this Fall and then we may be able to camp for a few days and Lakota will take care of the farm for us. It is kind of funny the 11 year old granddaughter will take care of everything on the farm because the two daughters have no interest in that life at all. Lol

I will update more tomorrow with some pictures. I hope everyone is doing well!

Lakota, Devin and Perrin sharing popcorn

The grandkids enjoying supper, Mam-maw would be so proud to see her great, great grandkids eating at her old table!

They have bonded, Chris and Tucker Muffins, and the stage is set for years of adventures!

We got all the grandkids on Thursday, in hopes that it would snow. Of course it did not, but we had a good time regardless. Perrin stayed until Saturday and Lakota and Devin stayed until this morning. Lakota learned the ins and outs of the wood cook stove and even managed a fire on her own and cooked breakfast one morning. We cooked breakfast together on Sunday. We all had spaghetti on Friday. Perrin discovered he likes scrambled eggs. Mr. picky eater ate a tiny bite I put on his plate Saturday morning and brought an empty plate to me and asked for more of those yellow things. He has never really eaten an egg so of course I dropped everything and cooked him another one. He gobbled it down and I found out that Amanda was at the store with him Saturday. He mentioned to her that he likes eggs. She said wow, so do you want me to buy you some eggs? He informed her “no” because he “only likes eggs at Chi Chi’s house”. Lol

The boys played and got on everyone’s nerves. Devin helped in the barn and we all had a good time. We baked cookies and made popcorn and the sleeping arrangement was unusual, but it worked. We spent 4 days in a small room together with the dogs and two cats. Lakota slept on a cot right beside out bed, Devin slept on a cushioned pallet close by, Perrin, me, Chris, the dogs and Cutie slept in the bed. We all stayed warm and cozy and slept well.

Taking them to school this morning was bittersweet. It will be nice to get our one room back to normal for awhile, but I will miss having the grandkids at the house. Today will be nice, tomorrow I will be wishing that I had them all back over.

We are still doing very well on wood. We have a lot of wood still left and should bring in Spring with some extra wood left in the woodshed. It is nice to not have to worry about the wood situation. We just had a really bad heater last year and went through way too much wood. We have two wood burners going this year and the weather is much colder, we have not went through half the wood already that we did at this time last year. I will be glad though when it warms up a tiny bit so we can get that pig pen done and get some other things done before it is garden time. I almost wish we could find someone we trust to build them a small cabin on the farm and live there for free as long as they help out on the farm with Chris. We could sure use an extra hand and I don’t think birth control issues is what made the families so large in the old days, I think that they just desperately needed to help with the farm! Lol

Tucker Muffins is doing great. She sure loved having the kids over this weekend. I think SadieMae was kinda glad to see them leave though. She did not do so well in cramped conditions.

I ordered some seeds today and cannot wait until I can start putting them in the ground. I am excited about our garden this year, more than anyone could imagine. We have not been able to have a garden in two years now because of all the stuff we were going through. So this year is very special to us. We will get to plant all of the things we enjoy and it makes me so happy I could just cry over it.

It is supposed to warm up a little bit in the next few days, but then turn cold again. I am not minding the cold any so far, I am actually enjoying it other than being cold at night right before I go to bed. Luckily I have Chris, who radiates more body heat than one person should legally be allowed to do! It comes in handy during the night though, and he thus far has not complained about my cold feet seeking out the bend in his legs or stuck to his calf at night. Lol

So things are good….very good and I am ever so grateful.

I am a little disappointed there was not significant snow on the ground this morning. We wanted to explore the snowy farm with all the grandkids, sled and play and build snow creatures. We took Perrin home with us when I got off work. It was snowing at that time. I stopped for a few things from the store and Perrin said something so odd. He has never had any experience with cemeteries and such. He saw one and said “Look there is one right there, the place with flowers”. I was kind of ignoring him at first but got curious and asked what he was talking about. He pointed to a graveyard and informed me it was there…”that place where you put flowers when you lose someone and they stay there until you find them”.  I find 4 year old minds amazing.

We got home and I made Perrin stay on the bed covered up until the fire got going good. He ate 9 spoons of peanut butter while he waited. The child will not hardly eat anything, rarely eats anything of the protein variety but when he comes to my house he will eat a jar of peanut butter! Just as the house got warm, Shannon showed up with the other two. The schools were all closed for Friday and they are going out of town from Friday until Monday, so we were gonna keep the kids. They walked in with baskets of clothes and shoes, coats, hats, gloves and more. The dogs were going crazy with 3 kids to play with, the cats were trying to find a place to hide, Shannon was giving me instructions on medications and feeding her animals and cabin numbers and everything and the one little living room of the Broken House was pure chaos! She left and I got everyone calmed down until I could at least clear an area in the floor for the boys to play. When we needed a break from Superman and the Pillsbury Dough Boy saving the world, it became coloring time and we got a short break of quiet time. It took awhile to figure out where everyone was going to sleep, but we managed to get it worked out. Chris had the room all toasty and warm, when I got everyone tucked in I heard light snoring in a few brief minutes. I stayed up a little longer and enjoyed the calmness of the moment.

When I woke up I was hoping to find the ground covered in snow. Instead I found it to be about 10 degrees outside, a dusting of snow and the roads solid ice. The kids woke up and I got ready and left for work. Chris was firing up the cook stove as I left so he could make eggs, toast and hot chocolate for the crew. I heard they were playing “transformers” in the living room when I left.

It took me 45 minutes to get to work this morning. That is about 20 minutes more than normal. The back roads were solid ice and it was not a fun trip. I was thankful to get out on the highway where at least the roads had been salted and there was not ice to fret over. Shannon called and is on her way to the cabin. Amanda called to let me know she made it to work alright. I sent Chris a message to let him know I actually succeeded in making it to work without sliding off the road. I am already looking forward to getting back home and spending time with the people I love so much. Now when Sunday arrives, I may not be saying that. Lol I may wish I had a place to escape to away from all the chaos in our tiny living room. I look forward to baking cookies and making popcorn tonight for everyone though and maybe getting out tomorrow and taking a walk around the back of the farm, looking for tracks to identify, letting the kids run around a bit and enjoying the frozen world for a little while. At least we will have a warm room to go back to once the exploring is out of our system.

I have been getting seed catalogs almost every day in the mail. I love looking at them and deciding what we want to plant in the garden this year. I hope to get some sweet potato slips from the Amish of those white sweet potatoes they sell at the market. They are the BEST tasting sweet potato I have ever had and I really hope I can get some to plant in our garden. I want to plant a variety of potatoes and just tons of veggies. I have an entire area across from the barn we will plant corn in. I am excited about it, and although it will be awhile longer before we start planting, it is nice to chat with each other and do the planning.

The rain barrels are finally frozen. Everything is frozen. We have not been over 32 degrees in some time now. I think maybe Monday we are supposed to get up around 40 degrees. I hope the barrels do not bust when they start thawing out. We are carrying water daily up to the chickens and even feeding them a bit extra right now. The branch and spring are both OK and not frozen up. That is good because it lets us know we can have running water on the farm without fear that it will freeze up during the winter. Also we know from the summer that the branch is not seasonal and has water year round. So we are VERY fortunate for that. We still have plenty of wood and it looks like so far we have no worries of it lasting all winter. We have plenty for both stoves and the fire goes 24/7 for the most part. The toilet froze up but we have the chamber pots, so that is not a worry either. Everything is going well and we feel so blessed and happy with our home and our life there.

SadieMae and EmmaMae Tucker Muffins

It is colder than cold here in East Tennessee but we are still enjoying it. We have the living room all tight and secure and we are staying very warm! We put a door up between the living room and kitchen and for the most part just stay in the one room of the house. Imagine that with 2 cats and 2 dogs! Shows you sometimes just how much you really love each other and we do love each other a whole lot!

We made us a bed. I put up a long post about things but somehow it got lost. We had been sleeping on the floor and that was fine until winter really hit. Sleeping was comfy but getting up of a morning was becoming more and more difficult. So we took some of the wood we had from the old house and made two table like things about 16 inches tall and 8×2 ½ feet. We put them side by side for our bed and put the foam mattresses on top of them. It is a nice size bed for the 6 of us (dogs, 2 cats and us). During the day we can pull them apart and put them against the wall for two nice size couches. They are perfect and are made of 4×4’s and 2×4’s. It was so cold the night we made them and dark. Chris carried them to the door, I pulled them in and put them in place and then we both nailed them by the light of the oil lamp.

The heater is keeping us very warm and I am so glad for that. Also, when it was about 8 degrees outside, the inside of the root cellar was almost 40 degrees. So that is pretty darn good! If worse comes to worse at least I know where to go in order to not freeze to death! Everything in there is doing great so I am pretty darn proud of our handy work!

The dogs are getting along great and Tucker Muffins has actually started going to the door and scratching and whining when she needs to go out and do her doggy business. She sure has been a handful. So far she has swallowed a ham bone from a piece of country ham….WHOLE and the next day started throwing up. I though we were facing surgery and was freaked out. She then got diarrhea and we just hoped it was something that would not force us to make a decision we really did not want to make. She eventually started getting better. Then as soon as she showed signs of improvement, she swallowed a dead dried up mouse carcass. Chris tried to pull it out of her throat with the tail but the tail broke off and it was history then. Gone to the belly in no time! As if that were not bad enough, she swallowed another one a few days later and than a rat that was not dried up. I was getting very frustrated with her by this time. She eats like a she has Prader Willi. Yesterday morning she saw Chris get a Kleenex from the box and when I turned around I discovered her pulling them from the box eating them. She is certainly a handful! She is already Chris’ best buddy and sadly has separation anxiety when it comes to him. We plan to work on that as the last thing we need is a clingy coon hound. LOL

I spoke with someone yesterday that gave me some hope. I had lost the papers that had all of my soon to be ex’s information on it. It was a few years ago when I found out where he was and all. It had everything, the SS#, service #, birthday, place of birth, everything. I lost it in the move. Yesterday I came into the office almost in tears. I opened a door on my desk to get something and two papers fell out into the floor. It was the papers I had been looking for with all the info on them. I called someone I knew at the VFW who is the head of everything down there. He knows my daughter very well. We talked at length and he thinks it is a good idea for me to file papers through him saying that I was abandoned 21 years ago and file for a portion of his disability since I never remarried. He said then the VA has to locate him and I will get a percentage of his check. This I do not need. BUT…if he does not agree to help pay for the divorce, I can use the money to help fund it. Another possibility is that he will see I am going to get part of his check and he will file for the divorce himself. He thinks I should start there and I have an appointment on Friday. We will wait a few weeks and see what that makes happen, then I can plan things from there. We are thinking maybe it will take about 4 months or so for the divorce and then I think I have to wait a month or so before I can remarry. That could put it definitely after July so we think maybe we will be doing an August or September wedding. I would like to do it when it is good camping weather. We will see. I will set a real date when I have the divorce papers in my hands! It was fun sitting up last night talking to Chris about it, who we would invite, what we want to do, eat, etc. It will not be your normal wedding for sure.

Chris has been busy hauling wood up to the house so we can have it handy. He has been fine tuning some things and we have been talking about the garden and several projects we want to start soon. We would really like to build a sun room on the side of the house for a summer kitchen/sun room. I have been busy knitting and working on different little crafty things. We will have all the grandkids this weekend so we plan to bake cookies and make popcorn and have a great time. YAY 3 grandkids in the bed with the 6 of us. We will have a blast!

The chickens are fine, we have to carry water up there every day because their water is freezing up in the single digit temps. The outside cats have a nice cozy cat house Chris built for them so they are fine. Chris’ Mam-maw is doing much better and may get out of the rehab place soon. I sure wish things were not so sour with the rest of his family as it would be easier on everyone if they were not so judgmental of our lifestyle. I think about my daughters often and what I would do if they made this choice. I cannot see me thinking anything different about them other than they are fortunate to be given a chance to live their dream and as long as they are happy and healthy, what more can a mother ask for?

I have been contacted by a magazine to write an article on our lifestyle. Everyone so far has said to go for it, I think maybe I will try to throw something together for them, who knows it may be fun!

I hope everyone is staying warm in this frigid weather and that your bellies are full, your body is cozy warm and you are happy and healthy!

So we have been house sitting for friends and it has been a handful for us. Trying to keep two farms going for a week is not an easy task. Chris has been feeding the cows and I watch with a smile on my face. The HUGE bull is halarious and I will have to get pics today. Yesterday he licked Tucker right up the side of her face and head with a 10 inch long tongue. I don’t think Tucker was too thrilled about it. LOL

At our own home, we winterized the livingroom even more. Arctic air is supposed to travel through the next week or so. We put up some wood strips around the doors where there was a draft. Today we are putting up the old front door from the other house in between the living room and kitchen. Today we also plan to build us a bed. We have been sleeping in the living room floor on foam padding and it has been OK until now. It is cold in the floor and I am not getting any younger. With temps in the teens heading this way, it is time we move up off the floor. We don’t have an actual bed so we are going to build some talbe like structures and put the foam on top of them, about 2 1/2 feet or so off the floor. When we move into the bedroom in the Spring through Fall, we can put the tables on the porch for use. So that is our goal today.

I am adding a few extra bags of pine needles and leaves in the chicken coop today as well so they will stay warm in the cold weather. This weather may last for 2 weeks and I don’t want to take any chances.

I want to say I appreciate the emails and phone calls regarding my last post. It means a lot to have friends who care like that. I don’t understand the situation to be honest. I think about my own mother and grandmother and know that if they were here, they would be so happy to see me living like we do, they know it was always a dream of mine, and my mother’s as well, and to know I am actually living it…with someone who is loving it as much as I am, someone who loves me and is good to me, they would be thrilled for me, for US! But I guess to some people, happiness is not everything. When you put so much stock into monetary things, happiness often falls to the wayside and you forget it is even possible. I hope me and Chris never act like that, it is sad. But thank you everyone for your kind thoughts, words and the love you have shared with us.

This has been a journey that has been hard on us at times. When we look back on things, we often wonder if it was worth it all. The hardship of last year was something I do hope we never have to endure again. The thing is though, we were all but abandoned by most people in our life. Times like that shows you who really cares and who is really a friend. My friends from City Data, Don from Canada, our friends from OC, Jimmy’s brother Don and his wife, my daughters and our grandkids, Joanna….they never left our side, they supported us and when all they could offer was a hug from far away or a comforting smile….it helped pull us through. We are in a new year now and Chris and I are in a better place. We carry those dear relationships with us and cherish each of them because we learned first hand how people will abandon you when the ship is sinking. Who knows, if we had not had so much sorrow, perhaps we would not know the joy we do now. Because of it all we appreciate things more, we are stronger, we look at each other and know that it is unlikely most couples could have made it through that year. It was a nightmare, but we had each other and those I mentioned above. We have much to be grateful for and our kindness is owed in part to the kindness shown to us from those I have mentioned. Thank you all.

Now on to more kindness. Although Chris and I have been together now for going on 5 years, we are not legally married. We are engaged. The thing is, we would have been married a LONG time ago but a slight unexpected problem came up. I was married before to a very abusive man. We were only married 8 months when I came home from work to discover my kids sitting on the porch in the cold, the door locked and everything we owned, even the presents from under the tree were gone, including my husband. The only contact I got after that was calls in the middle of the night telling me he was close by and when I fell asleep he would break in and kill me. Those went on for a few years, no matter where I moved to. He never showed up of course and eventually I never heard from him again.

I went on with my life and rasied my daughters as best I could. I never had money for a divorce and could have cared less, because I never intended to ever marry again. Until Chris. I called my husband’s parents and tried to find out if he got the divorce like he said he would almost 20 years ago. They told me they were sure he had gotten it. That was not enough, I needed papers and they had no clue where he was. They were not fond of their son and honestly hoped they never saw him again because he robbed them blind as well. I was eventually able to find out through the veteran’s office and social security that he was living in a halfway house out west. I was shocked because I thought for sure he was dead. Then I found out he had filed for disability through the VA and in 1990 listed himself as divorced. That was PERFECT, so all I needed was the papers. I was able to locate the halfway house and made a phone call. He refused to get on the phone so I had the caretaker as him about the papers. I almost passed out when I heard him tell her he never filed for the divorce. He lied to the VA and Social Security. We were still legally married. I have not seen the man in 21 years now.

Chris was so perfectly wonderful and did not really care as far as our relationship went. We wanted to get married but a divorce is almost 1000.00 and that is not something we can consider right now. It does not change our love for each other and the fact that we are devoted to each other and accept each other as husband and wife regardless. It lingers over my head though like a dark cloud and once in awhile someone makes some ugly remark or goes psycho when they find out we are not legally married or worse yet, that I am tainted and not good enough for Chris because I am legally married to someone else. It is hard to deal with.

We have talked about our wedding and how it will be. It will certainly NOT be anything expensive, time consuming and ridiculously over planned. We could gives a rat’s arse what anyone else wants us to do. The topic came up again the past few days and I have decided that weddings should not be stressful and one should not have to deal with tension and people judging what they think you should have done. The fact is, when you get married, you are just as married by going to the courthouse alone with a witness as you are in a church with 1000 people you think are your friends. The only difference is, the smaller wedding is more reasonable as it should not cost so much money to get married.

This month, I am filing for the divorce. I have been told by several people I should hold off and check into benfits for spouses after being married 20 years to him and not remarrying. Honestly, I could care less about those benefits. I just want to marry Chris. Not because people THINK we should, but because we love each other and I would not wear thhis engagement ring if I did not want to marry him. So, I plan to get the divorce started ASAP. After that is over, we are free to do whatever and we will. At this time, “whatever” is going to be a very SMALL ceremony at Santeetlah Creek with only our closest friends. We will all have bologna sandwiches, Koolaid in gallon jugs stuck in the creek to keep cold and Moonpies for the wedding cake. When everyone leaves, we will camp for a few days and head back home. There will be no fancy dress as I am not a fancy dress person. As a matter of fact, when we first planned this wedding, it was with Jimmy and he was supposed to walk me down the aisle. I told him it was not going to be fancy and he gave me a pair of overalls to get married in. We all had a good laugh, but you can bet your sweet butt I will be saying my I Do in those overalls regardless if they ARE 5 sizes too big. I will be barefoot as well because I hate shoes and have never even had a pair of high hills on my feet. Seems kinda ignorant to me to wear hills on a creek bank anyway.

So this year you all will get to see a divorce and then help plan a wedding. We will video tape it of course and share it on here with everyone. Some of you will even be invited. It will be exciting to see the Farm coming to life in the Spring and me and Chris finalizing things in our relationship as well.

So enjoy this journey with us, it could prove to be very interesting! (I may even mail some of you a Moonpie from the wedding cake! lol)

Now I am off here to head home and take care of a few things there. We come back and feed cows this evening. Our friends will be back tomorrow night and although I have had a good time taking care of their farm, I will be glad to have only one to take care of and that one being ours.

I hope everyone had a great New Years Day and I hope this New Year is good for you all, my dear friend Don in Canada, Don and Johnny, Joanna, my daughters and grandkids, Hammer, Harry Chickpea, Foxie, Storym and Sidhe, Kim and Bob, Amelia, Chris’ Mam-maw, Qaexl, Sienna, Annie, Jamac, kygman, LauraRose, Pam, Ode, Korak, snkalaska, syllana and all our other friends on OC, City Data, Homesteading Today, Facebook and such. Its gonna be a better year for us all.